Dealing with Disappointment

Disappointments come in all shapes and sizes, and they can thoroughly derail our urge to write. The disappointments might be writing related (like a dismal writing session, or receiving a rejection.) Non-writing disappointments also impact our ability to focus and be creative (the loss of a friendship, your child in trouble at school again, something doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped.) A cloud hovers over us. Spirits droop. How can we keep writing after experiencing a disappointment?

First of all, we can stop waiting for the magical day when disappointments no longer occur. Occasional letdowns and dashed hopes are a fact of life. They will come. Our only choice is in how we will respond. Will we let them dampen our creativity and destroy our writing days? Or will we turn the disappointment into an opportunity for growth?

Adjust Reality
Many disappointments occur (with the accompanying stress) because of the gap between your expectations and reality. When you have an expectation about the way something should happen and then reality falls short of that expectation, it creates a disappointment that in turn breeds stress. For example, you expected to finish that rough draft today, but couldn’t because you had to take your child to the dentist, your mom to the doctor, and your dog to the vet. You’re frustrated and disappointed.

In this case, an easy way to avoid such disappointment is to bring reality more in line with your expectations. Look at your calendar, and plan your day the night before. Don’t just have a vague idea in the back of your mind that you’ll “write that story tomorrow.” Instead, make up a “to do” list each night for the next day. Include not only the things you have to do, but, more importantly, the things you want to do. Prioritize them in order of their importance, and put writing near the top. You’ll experience much less disappointment if you don’t set yourself up with false expectations. (Return this week for Parts 2 and 3.)